Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday Afternoon Mish Mash

It's been ages since Your Mama has done the celebrity real estate mish mash and we have a number of tidbits and treats that we need to clear out of our bulging inbox and over flowing voicemail, so here goes:

Looks like back in the saddle Britney Spears is getting eager to sell her house up in the guard gated Summit community above Beverly Hills. Miss Spears, who is somewhat surprisingly riding the top of the charts once again with her new album Circus, has listed her current crib more times than Your Mama can count, but it was most recently listed in September of 2008 at $7,900,000.

A spin through the MLS now shows Miss Spears (or more correctly, her daddy/conservator Jamie Spears who reportedly handles all her financial matters) has slashed the asking price of her 6 bedroom and 6.5 bathroom "Italian Renaissance Villa" to $7,195,000, a price that listing information states includes, "select furnishings, accessories & art work." Would anyone actually want Miss Spears' sofas and chairs?

It's certainly no surprise that the formerly batty Brit Brit would want to unload this place. Not only is it the house to which she fled in the highly charged emotional aftermath of her rather unseemly uncoupling from wannabe rapper Kevin Federline, it's also the scene of some of her more mentally unhinged moments, like that sordid and sad day she locked herself in the bathroom with one of her babies and was later forcibly removed and admitted to the psych ward at the UCLA Medical Center.

Anyhoo, it's long been rumored and reported that the pop star wants to move to a gated community in the suburban Calabasas area in order to be nearer to where her two pop-tots live in Tarzana with their daddy Mister Federline.

Your Mama thinks Miss Spears might consider taking the altruistic real estate route and buy that damn house in the guard gated Hidden Hills community that poor Denise Richards' ladee can't seem to sell if her life depended on it. Just a thought.

Speaking of houses in The Summit...Will Ed McMahon's troubles ever end? It's been quite some time since Your Mama has heard hide or hair about the octogenarian's well publicized battle too keep his Bev Hills house from slipping into the uglee-bizness of foreclosure.

And just when we started to think perhaps the Johnny Carson sidekick managed to straighten out his abysmal finances, we get word from gossip juggernaut TMZ that a process server who recently showed up on Mister McMahons doorstep to serve him some legal papers was attacked by the McMahon's pet poodle.

Oh dear.

We're certainly not the first to discuss this and it's certainly no surprise since it was announced as part of their acrimonious dee-vorce proceedings, but liquor luvvin' actor/tee-vee talent show judge David Hasselhoff–who is also, bizarrely, a big pop star in Germany–and his ex-wifey Pamela Bach have just officially listed their house of marital horrors in Encino, CA with an asking price of $5,950,000.

Prop records show that The Hoff and his Missus paid $1,980,000 to purchase the 1.4+ acre property in 1996 from big bodied actor John Goodman. Although property records show the big white Colonial style mansion measures 6,148 square feet, listing information provided to Your Mama by a ladee we'll call Shanda Leer shows it sprawls across 9,770 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms including a master suite with a fireplace and dual bathrooms. Other interior amenities include all the expected formal living and dining rooms, 5 fireplaces, a gore-may kitchen, office, gym, library, media room, and a sports bar (pleeze).

Listing information also reveals the flag lot property located in one of Encino's nicest 'hoods is accessed down a long gated drive terminating in a large motor court. The listing describes the back yard as "resort-like" with a grotto swimming pool, spa and waterfall (how very Hef of The Hoff), a lighted tennis court, rolling lawns, and not just one, but two guesthouses.

All that and The Hoff's boozy juju for $5,950,000? No thanks.

3. Big Time Beverly Hills builder John Bersci has some serious ants in his real estate pants. The prolific developer of prodigiously priced property in the Platinum Triangle of Beverly Hills, Bel Air and the Holmby Hills officially listed his own historic estate tucked away on Bev Hills' Benedict Canyon Drive in September of 2008 with an asking price of $11,495,000.

Your Mama noted this morning that the price for the 7 bedroom and 7 bathroom estate, which is commonly referred to as The Harvey Mudd Estate, has been sliced and diced all the way down to $8,995,000. A few flicks of the well worn beads on our bejeweled abacus tells Your Mama that amounts to a gasp producing 22% price reduction.

Of course, until someone in the know whispers in Your Mama's big ol' ear, we has no way of knowing if this gigantic karate chop to the asking price is because Mister Bersci is trying to scare up some cash, if it's just a reflection of a sagging in the high end market or if it has to do with that ridiculously humongous middle finger of a house that former and fallen Hollywood titan Mike Ovitz is building next door. Whatever the reason(s), it's crystal clear to anyone with eyeballs that Mister Bersci wants to get rid of this house. And fast.

Earlier in the week Your Mama discussed the Hill Country (TX) hideaway that bicycling bigwig Lance Armstrong foisted on the market last year with a blistering asking price of $12,000,000. In our discussion we noted that the scandalously rich pedal pusher also owns homes in Austin, TX as well as a Bahamian getaway. However, we failed to mention–because we did not know at the time–that according to reports, Mister Armstrong recently scooped up a newly completed mansion in Aspen, the swank little ski resort in Colorado where a person can't swing a cat without knocking over 12 celebrities and/or billionaire biznessmen.

The Faded Youth reports the $9,000,000, three story sprawler includes 5 bedrooms and 5 full and 2 half bathrooms including a top floor devoted to a master suite and private den/study. The green shingled house is said to have multiple fireplaces, a hot tub/spa, and patios and decks with views of the craggy and insanely beautiful Rocky Mountains.

Some blogs and gossip rags are rumoring and reporting that bodacious booty-ed Jennifer Lopez and her skeletal skinny huz-man Marc Anthony are headed towards the court of celebrity dee-vorce. Well children, Your Mama don't know nuthin' about that bizness, but we did recently hear from a Puerto Rican pal we'll call Dolores Del Taco who hooked us over to a recent report in the Spanish language newspaper El Nuevo Día that claims the couple spent the holee-days down in sexy San Juan where they've recently purchased two penthouse condos in Condado–which for those who do not know, is one of San Juan's swankiest areas. According to the report, which Your Mama translated with an assist by the bi-lingual Dr. Cooter, the Puerto Rican superstars coughed up around $11,000,000 for the two ocean view units which they are planning on combining into one giant celebrity-sized island getaway.

We shall see children.

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