Monday, January 12, 2009

More on Britney Spears Blah Blah Blah

Hold on to yer britches children because, like it or not, the Britney Spears real estate crazy train is pulling out of the station and the giant price reduction on Miz Spear's current crib in the guard gated community of The Summit up in the hills above Beverly is hardly the only real estate noise the comeback queen is making this week.

According to a recent report on a Britney Spears fansite called Breathe Heavy, the Circus singer is packing up her circus and moving to The Oaks, a high-priced, family oriented and guard gated community of sizable mcmansions in the western Los Angeles suburbs of Calabasas.

The rumors and whispers of Miz Spears desire to decamp to Calabasas have been swirling around the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine for a looong time children, but to be honest, Your Mama knows next to nuthin' about the actual movements and whereabouts of the peripatetic pop star who can't seem to settle down in one house for very long before getting ants in her real estate pants.

What we do know, however, is the following:

1. Back in June of 2008 it was widely rumored and reported that the Spears family cash cow had her appropriately medicated eyes on a newly built mansion called Chateau Suenos located in the The Estates, the most expensive and exclusive section of The Oaks. For some reason unfathomable to Your Mama, The Estates has become a rock star friendly enclave which is also home to Brad Wilk of the anti-establishment band Rage Against the Machine and former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker as well as the the 9,214 square foot mansion Eddie Murphy's ex-wife Nicole has been trying to sell since the dawn of damn time.

2. When it was first whispered in Your Mama's big ear that Miz Spears had been sniffing around the 10,300+ square foot manse on Prado do los Suenos, it was listed for sale with an asking price of $10,800,000. Since that time the asking price has been sliced and diced several times to its last asking price of $8,990,000.

3. According to information we received from Helen Heels, the 7 bedroom and 9 bathroom house was also available for lease at $19,000 per month, a number out of reach for mere mortals but just pennies for a glammy gal who reportedly has a pre-alimony and pre-child support monthly income in high six figures.

4. It's our understanding that the property in question was very recently "withdrawn" from the MLS which can indicate any number of things including (but not limited to) it having been leased, being taken off the market for a price adjustment or change of listing agent etc., and sometimes (but by no means always) it means that a high profile person has attached them self to the property either by lease or mortgage.

5. Listing information states the "French Chateau" style residence is centered around an interior courtyard with French terracotta pavers, a limestone fountain and an outdoor fireplace–a perfect spot for Miz Spears to play with her coupla pop-tots and and smoke her cancer sticks without being seen by nosy neighbors or the prying eyes of the paparazzi. Other amenities of the mansion are a two story octagon shaped library where Brit Brit can stash all seven of her books, a gore-may kitchen where daddy/conservator/chef Jamie can whip up meals for the household of hangers on and sycophants, a sound proofed home theatre, a wine cellar in the basement, a craft room, a master suite with sitting room and dual bathrooms and a custom fitted dressing room, a first floor guest suite with living room and private bath (perfect for the daddy/conservator), an elevator (when you're this rich and pampered who wants to walk up a flight of damn stairs?), at least 5 fireplaces, a six car garage with under-ground auto lift, a kick-ass security system, and the above mentioned guest house pavilion over-looking the swimming pool and spa decorated with mosaic tiles.

6. We hear from one of our better connected sources that Miz Spears did have a long look-see at the property over the weekend, but is unable to confirm whether she's actually moving to the house. You can draw your own conclusions children.

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