Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Little More Real Estate Pornography

BUYER: Sol Kerzner for Beverly Kerzner
LOCATION: West 23rd Street, New York City, NY
PRICE: $8,350,000 (sale price) / monthly charges: $4,581
SIZE: 7,000 square feet (approx.), 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Soaring 30ft. ceilings in the double-height living room provides the most impressive entertaining space, surrounded by enormous windows with superb light. A banquet-sized kitchen is attached to the ultra-chic dining area. A svelte, sound-proofed media room/home theater attached to a large home office leads to a 3rd-level perch over-looking the entire loft. The Master Suite features a grand bathroom with 2-person steam-room and has a room-sized closet. 3 additional bedrooms provide ample accommodations. A separate studio with bath and kitchenette is perfect for a housekeeper.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This morning we read with amazement and glee the comprehensive report by celebrity real estate wunderkind Max Abelson at the NY Observer about South African hotel tycoon Sol Kerzner, who developed such mega resorts and casinos as Sun City in South Africa and Atlantis in the Bahamas, purchasing a Manhattan penthouse for his daughter Beverley.

In early 2006, there were many rumors and reports that Mister Kerzner had purchased the $10,500,000 penthouse in the Phillip Johnson designed Urban Glass House for Beverley. But apparently Miss Kerzner wasn't feeling that penthouse because, as Mister Abelson reported, daddy Kerzner just spent a whopping $8,350,000 to buy his baby Beverley a massive 7,000+- square foot penthouse apartment in the Chelsea neighborhood in downtown Manhattan.

Well, we know this building and penthouse for several reasons. Number one, the penthouse is located atop the old MacBurney YMCA building on West 23rd Street that now houses, among the luxury condominiums, the sort of swanky David Barton Gym, which is widely considered the gayest gym in New york. Now children, this gymnasium certainly has it's fair number of heterosexual members, but the men's locker room, showers, and steam room is so notoriously naughty that at one point security guards were posted in the locker room in an attempt to curb the pornographic activity.

The gym also lays claim to a fair number of celebrity members including known homosexual songbird Rufus Wainwright and known heterosexual Seth Meyers from Saturday Night Live. We also hear from some one we know to be very, very reliable who belongs to the D.B. Gym, that CNN stud Anderson Cooper often works out (and showers) here. Your Mama is not saying anything, we're just can draw whatever conclusions you want.

Anyhoo, the behemoth and loft-like triplex penthouse atop the old YMCA was carved out of what was once a basketball court by a team of investors who include the design firm the Apartment. According to Mister Abelson, the investors paid $3,300,000 to purchase the raw space and another $3,000,000 to turn the place into a residence that very closely resembles a club in South Beach.

A peek a the floor plan reveals an entrance hall that overlooks the triple height living room and includes an indoor garden with grow lights for keeping the plants alive, which of course would be the perfect location for Miss Kerzner to grow weed should she be so inclined.

The massive all white kitchen is adjacent to the large dining room which the sellers have kitted out with a massive dining room table and twelve lovely white Panton chairs.

But you know what, it doesn't really matter what this apartment looks like or what furniture is there because, according to Mister Abelson's report, Miss Kerzner is planning on "keeping the kitchen and bathroom and redoing everything else." Including, Your Mama hopes, painting over that awful hot pink support column in the living room.

Back when this penthouse came on the market for $8,950,000 Your mama saved the pictures and floor plans because we were very curious as to what sort of person would buy the heavily designed apartment. Well, now we know.

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