Friday, September 14, 2007

UPDATE: Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne

BUYERS: Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne
LOCATION: Dixon Trail Road, Hidden Hills, CA
PRICE: $12,388,500
SIZE: 2.35 acres, 10,930 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The Osbournes have been on a buying and selling frenzy of late having sold their Doheny Road mansion in Beverly Hills to bun in the oven songbird Christina Aguillera and her music executive huzband Jordan Bratman. This is, of course, the house that was so prominently featured on the Osbourne's ridiculously banal reality show (sorry folks, but Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter thought that show was a sleeper).

The Osbournes have also recently purchased an enviable house in the Hollywood Hills for their oldest progeny Aimee, they appear to be in the process of unloading one of their two ocean front properties in Malee-boo (on the market at $10,995,000, see below), and they've purchased a spread in quasi rural Hidden Hills, where reports have them living now that they've vacated the Bev Hills house.
Of course, this incomplete list does not take into account their holdings in Britain, which includes a massive estate in Buckinghamshire, or any houses or condos they may or may not have purchased for their other children, the deliciously rebellious Kelly, and the newly somewhat svelte Jack.

Your Mama still thinks it's strange that fame hungry Sharon moved her doddering rock star huzband out to sleepy and uber-suburban Hidden Hills. Yes children, we know that Hidden Hills is full of celebrities living in huge houses in gated communities and all that crap, but somehow it just seems odd to think of glamour puss Sharon and the too damaged to be dangerous Ozzy roaming the streets of Hidden Hills in a pimped out Mercedes.

Anyhoo, the new Osbourne mansion on Dixon Trail Road sits towards the end of a cul-de-sac and will provide the couple with much needed peace, quiet and privacy. No more tour buses full of Belgian tourists buzzing the buzzer and trying to climb over the security wall like they did on Doheny Road.

Property records indicate that house measures in at a whopping 10,930 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 10 bathrooms and photos reveal that the exterior articulations too closely reference barn architecture for our liking. Your Mama presumes the house comes with all the necessary suburban celebrity mansion necessities including an overly scaled entrance hall with a sweeping staircase, large living room, banquet sized dining room, massive eat in kitchen with double ovens and all the bells and whistles, wood paneled library, office, den, game room, dual master baths, master suite with sitting room, staff quarters, and of course, a wine cellar. However, since the house appears never to have been on the open market we can not confirm it's luxe amenities.

The property features a detached staff unit or guest quarters, which may come in handy as the Osbournes get old and require live in assistance to help them into the shower and to pick up all the doggy doo the family's many itty bitty dogs are famous for leaving around the house.

Whatever the reasons for the Osbournes moving to Hidden Hills, Your Mama wishes them a happy home free of paparazzi at the front gate and a slew of camera wielding fanatics waiting for them to pull out of the driveway.

Sources: Pacific Coast News (photos)

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