Tuesday, August 7, 2007

A Model Home: Devon Aoki

SELLER: Gregory Alosio
BUYER: Devon Aoki
LOCATION: Benedict Canyon Road, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $1,899,000 (sale price)
SIZE: 1,751 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms (main house)
DESCRIPTION: Behind iron gates lies a private tranquil oasis on 1.6 acres of lush verdant grounds with breath taking mountain, ridge & canyon views. A true Beverly Hills 40s traditional. This stylish yet comfortable residence has 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths, consisting of the main house (2 bed/1.5 bath) and a separate private guest house with 1bd/1ba and an additional office. Flooded with natural light, the main house features French doors that open out to a huge Beverly Hills Hotel style pool & cabana.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen babies, Your Mama has got so many irons in the fire this week that we barely know which way is up and we are running late, late, late. None the less we mustn't let the children linger another moment without any words from Your Mama about a celebrity hideaway. So today we are going to discuss itty bitty super model Devon Aoki and the itty bitty house located high in the Hills of Beverly that she purchased in January of 2007.

Let's see now, what should you know about Little Miss Devon Aoki? Born in New York, and bred in London and Los Angeles, she is the youngest daughter of the bizarre entrepreneur Rocky Aoki, who started the Benihana chain of restaurants. Even though she's only 5'4" (5'6" in some reports), which is usually considered far too short to work the catwalk, she began modeling at 14 years old. In addition to appearing in campaigns for Versace and Lancome, she usurped glamazon Naomi Campbell as the face of Chanel. She also appeared in several music videos for groups such as Duran Duran, Ludacris, and The Killers. And, of course, like so many pretty faces, she wants to be an ack-tress too.

In January of 2007, the Eurasian beauty, who once dated that dirty Lenny Kravitz person, paid the full listing price of $1,899,000 for this fully and recently remodeled 1940s ranch house. Children, keep in mind that the Hollywood glamarama decor is NOT that of Little Miss Aoki, but rather the former owner, Gregory Alosio, a well known music video director.

Starting at the unnecessarily and freakishly imposing drive gates...One would think that Elizabeth Taylor or some big queen with a pinky ring lives in a huge mansion behind a gate like that. But instead we find a modest and even ordinary 2 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom ranch house with a 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom guest house. While most rich people in Los Angeles might find this this house just too small and not impressive enough, this configuration is PERFECT for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter. We love a guest house.

In the living room and we find a nicely proportioned room that has been opened up to the outside with a canyon view through a fantastic wall of French doors. We're not big fans of the all black and white Hollywood glamour decor, but there are a few nice items such as the Lucite coffee table and the pair of black chairs that we'd steal if given half a chance. We're curious why the floors were left brown rather than ebonized to a glossy black. While we prefer the brown personally, the shiny black would have been a better finish for the chosen decor.

Your Mama is a huge fan of Panton and Panton-esque light fixtures, but this particular chandelier doesn't work for us. First of all, we know for a fact, from first hand experience, that when those doors are open and the wind is blowing, that shit gets all tangled up and you have to spend hours on a stepping stool un-knotting and de-tangling the shell strands. And secondly it makes the room look too much like it's trying to be a nightclub, which is not a interior design scheme our old bones feel comfortable with when we're trying to spoon the dogs and watch the boob tube.

In the petite dining room we find more French doors and a picnic style table. Ya'll know by now how much Your Mama loves a picnic style table. We know a lot of you design divas out there think they're corny, but we're sticking to our design guns on this one. Even though the white furry rug looks good in the photograph, it's got to go. We do not need Hector the houseboy spending inordinate amounts of time pulling food out of the damn dining room carpet that was dropped there by sloppy dinner guests.

The master bedroom is the not so great culmination of the black and white Hollywood glam theme. We confess to a LOVE of the kooky zebra printed carpet. But otherwise it's seriously difficult to digest and it's all a little too glitzy. And the faux fur thing on the bed makes us very, very uncomfortable. The bathroom, covered in white marble looks elegant enough, but can you see that horrible pedestal with the glass bowl for a sink? Terrible, terrible, terrible. Bad decorator.

The back patio with it's pergola and angel wing curtains looks like a nice place to feel the canyon breezes caress your bare skin and take in the view. If you're sober. Children, this is not a place to bring your drinking buddies. Can't you just see poor Lindsay Lohan stumbling around in a bikini and high heels falling off that patio and rolling right into the pool?

Speaking of the pool, we do like the simple rectangular shape. But, unless this pool cabana that is mentioned in the listing has a terlit, and we are almost positive it does not, this set up is a sure bet your guests are either going to be squatting in the bushes or peeing in the pool.Your Mama would have done wet our bloomers by the time we climbed the many stairs from the pool deck to the house, where the closest indoor terlit is located. If Little Miss Devon Aoki has a brain cell in her pretty little head, she'll use some of her Chanel money to build a nice little pool house, one with a damn terlit.

We imagine that by now Little Miss Devon Aoki has settled in and given the house her stamp with a nice gay decorator of her own. Hunny when you're ready to let the world know what you did with the place, be sure to give Your Mama a call.

P.S. We err again, the purchase was first reported by Mister Big Time back in January...we apologize for not making the reference earlier.

Sources: NY Magazine, Internet Movie Data Base

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