Thursday, August 23, 2007

Paris Hilton's New Pad


BUYER: Paris Hilton
PRICE: $6,250,000 (list price)
LOCATION: Clerendon Road, Beverly Hills, CA
SIZE: 7,493 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Large motor court leads to this beautiful 7,500 sf Mediterranean in Guard Gated Mulholland Estates with Designer treatments, elegant details and lovely views. Family & entertaining spaces inside & out. Striking 2-stry entry, LR, office w/built-ins. FDR w/ Butler's pantry & wine closet. Lg cntr isl gourmet kit w/ top line appls & breakfast rm. Lg fam rm w/ wetbar & fp. Mstr ste w/fp, pvt balc, city vuus, wetbar & sumptuous mstr ba. Gym & lge bnus rm w/ fp. Maid's rm. Pool, spa & BBQ.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Looks like Paris "Pokey" Hilton has done bought herself a new mansion. Your Mama has been hearing whispers and rumors for quite some time now about a particular house up in the guard gated community of Mulholland Estates and all signs do indeed point towards a big yellow house on Clerendon Road.

Your Mama understands why this blond gurl and her 12 itty bitty puppies would want to live up in a guard gated community. Even the most publicity hungry in Hollywood eventually get sick and tired of having to take pictures with Danish tourists while taking out the garbage or having their dirty q-tips that were fished out of the garbage auctioned off on Ebay. Who can blame them really?

Ever since Miss Hilton was sprung from the clink and sold her N. King's Road house in West Hollywood, all the buzz has been that she's looking for a house in a gated community. And the 24 hour guard gated Mulholland Estates fits the bill. The community, technically in Sherman Oaks even though the developers were able to get the 90210 address, has been and continues to be home to many celebs including Vanna White, Brian Wilson (whose house is currently on the market), and Loni Anderson (who just sold her houses) and The Spitter Avril Lavigne (who also just sold her house). Previous residents include Tom Arnold (who bought his house from Paula Abdul and recently sold again), Xtina Aguillera, Shaquille O'Neal, Paul Anka (who recently sold to Lisa Gores), and some more who our little pea brain can't recall.

No property records Your Mama is able to access show that Pokey is indeed purchasing this house, but all our sources and tipsters are fingering this house. Fingering like crazy. Also, all the big tabloid and celebrity mags are pointing here too. We figger where there's smoke, there's often fire. Could be wrong. We've been wrong before. Could be that Pokey's own people planted the piece in US Magazine to through all us real estate gossips off her little blond trail.

Your Mama doesn't have much to say about the house, particularly since the contents of the home seen in the photos are not Pokey's, nor do they belong to a celebrity. We will say that we are more often than not non-plussed by the homes up in Mulholland Estates. They're big. They're "well appointed" with SubZeros, Vikings and ungodly numbers of terlits. They usually have nice views of the San Fernando Valley if you like that view. Otherwise they look like big fancy houses anywhere in the good ol' US of A, only much more expensive.

We do so hope and imagine that the house will have a full scale make over by Paris' huge team of nice gay decorators to rid the place of all the beige tile and black granite. We're seeing mirrored side tables, white couches and a couple of stripper poles in the room with the leopard print carpeting. Ya'll may be fooled by all the reports of Paris settling down, getting all church lady and reading the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita and all that Kabbalah crap. But not Your Mama. We know this weave headed heiress still likes to shake her scantily clad money maker and work it down with the Hollywood demi monde.

Only time will tell whether this is indeed the house the Paris will call home. But when and if she does move in, we expect her neighbors will not be pleased by the circling helicopters and those bloated, poorly raised, and foul mouthed Davis brothers hanging around and peeling out in their Bentleys up and down Clerendon Road.

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