Saturday, August 4, 2007

Terrence Howard's Los Feliz Rental

RENTER: Terrance Howard
LOCATION: 3717 Amesbury Road, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $12,500 per month
SIZE: 2,800 square feet (approx.), 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Spectacular city-to-ocean views. Feels like a European villa with views. Take dinner by candle light on the private terrace. One of the best view homes in LA. Gated, secure with security system. 4 bedroom, 3 baths, separate guest house w/ private entrance. Perfect for celebrity & industry clients.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: What do Steven Soderbergh, Courtney Love, and Terrance Howard have in common? According to a very well placed source whom we'll call Cowboy Pete, they have all leased this disturbingly flesh colored house on Amesbury Road in Los Feliz at one time or another. Most recently it was the Academy Award nominated Mister Howard who lived here. Cowboy Pete tells Your Mama the actor paid $12,5000 per month to live up in this house for the first 6 months of 2007 while he was in Los Angeles filming some movie. Or more likely, the production company footed the bill.

Because Your Mama sometimes likes a little sordid in our story, we are pleased to report that Cowboy Pete delightedly told us that the house was trashed when the Pennsylvania-based Mister Howard moved out just a few days ago. Something about a dining room table being ruined, a broken juicer, and a jacuzzi pump all needing to be replaced. Even the wonderfully crazy and newly scary skinny Courtney Love, who we know deep in our cold and dark heart leaves her dirty panties and old food strewn about her house, did not do as much damage as Mister Howard and his retinue of people and children.

Our Fairy Godmother in Los Feliz was able to dig up a listing for the house which shows that the leasing agent is none other than strapping ex-actor turned real estate agent Curt Truman, who modestly bills himself as the "Agent To The Stars." But since Your Mama is no star, Mister Truman, who apparently lives next door to Hollywood scion Mariska Hargitay and has appeared on numerous daytime soap stories, did not return our calls for comment.

The property falls down a steep slope to the back giving the terraces at the back of the house long and gorgeous views, at least when the smog is at a minimum.

Since we have only been able to locate photos of the living room, we will have to limit our commentary on the decor to that room only which looks like unusual hybrid between boho chic and suburban Ohio. Have y'all ever heard the rule that once a lady gets dressed she should remove one item. Well, we'd like to have had that rule applied to this room. We think many, many items should be removed including just about everything on the coffee table (and replaced with gorgeous picture books on art), the orange and blue glass pieces on the mantel have to go, the flowers on the hearth are just ridiculous, the large mirror we would like to see replaced with either something very smooth and contemporary or over the top ornate with silver leafing.

Your Mama would replace the painting over the fireplace with something bluish, although we do like the abstract nature of the painting that's currently there. And the walls, which appear to be a pale lemon chiffon color could be replaced with a nice white or perhaps a soft taupe color.

Out with the tapestry...oh Jeezis Mary and Joseph, who are we kidding. Everything in this room needs to be taken out with yesterday's trash EXCEPT, the nice graphic print rugs, the fireplace grate, and maybe, just maybe the coffee table.

Now that Mister Howard has moved out, Your Mama wonders what celebrity will be moving into this house next.

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