Saturday, August 25, 2007

John O'Hurley's House of Hemp

SELLER: John OHurley
LOCATION: Monte Cielo Court, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $6,200,000
SIZE: 5,283 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday, the good people over at People announced that actor John O'Hurley and his wifey Lisa have put their Beverly Hills house on the market for $6,200,000 and Your Mama and all the internet children have Miz Rachel P. to thank for sending us the link, because Your Mama does not read that particular magazine...too many human interest stories about folks with missing limbs that have nothing to do with celebrities. Thank you People, but we do not want to read about Rhonda and her inspiring story of losing 300 pounds so she could carry a child. Please.

Anyhoo, The bizzy Mister O'Hurley has many nice acting credits under his belt, but Your Mama best remembers the grey haired actor as the arrogant and dimwitted J. Peterman on Seinfeld. We bet you do to. We'd be remiss not to also mention his recent turn in Spamalot (in Las Vegas, natch), his hosting duties on the game show Family Feud, and his less admirable appearance on the awful hit show Dancing With the Stars. We know that show is a huge success, HUGE, but Your Mama just cringes with embarrassment for the folks on that show. We'll watch it, but we gotta keep one eye closed whenever a former Teen Beat heart throb or an aging actor with a saggy booty struts out on the stage in a pair of too tight pants and a flowing flamenco blouse. Poor things. Everyone has gotta do what they gotta do to pay the mortgage and stay in the public eye.

Located up Coldwater Canyon on a small cul de sac of just four houses, the newly renovated "Italian villa" sits spitting distance from bawdy comedian Jack Black's low slung modern house, but Your Mama just can't imagine these two sitting down together for a bottle of wine and backyard bbq.

The 5,283 square foot house, freshly renovated by the 52 year old O'Hurley who recently became a first time daddy with his much younger blond wifey (surprise!), has 5 bedrooms a living room, dining room, eat in kitchen and a media room. According to the listing information, this house also has nine damn bathrooms, so it is just a good thing there are also maids quarters for the overworked Lucinda to crawl to after scrubbing nine terlits day in and day out.

Your Mama wants to discuss two of those nine bathrooms, specifically the two master bathrooms, which listing information and decor clearly indicate are for a him and a her. Guess the well to do Bev Hills homos and lesbos will not be living up in this house with it's distinctly his and hers master bathrooms. One is all dark marble and woody with a men's club feel and the other is light and bright with a mirrored side table and a soaking tub, because everyone knows the ladies like to soak. It's just so cliche. Obviously this can be changed, but where is a power lezbian in Hollywood going to find more of that chocolate brown marble?

According to the website set up by the listing agent, the walls of the entrance hall have been covered in Japanese silk-hemp. Which can be very convenient when you can't get through to your too dope dealer who's too bizzy with all the young Hollywood starvelets to make a house call. You can just smoke the wall paper.

Perhaps now that there is a baby O'Hurly, the couple prefer to live in a house that does not span three full floors of living space. Certainly chasing a small child up and down the stiars is good for keeping the nanny's weight down, but not so good if the baby takes a tumble. Or maybe they're just looking to cash in on the property.

Your Mama stands corrected on the dates Mister O'Hurley purchased this house...the records we accessed showed a purchase date of in 1990, however, multiple sources have confirmed what one of our lovely readers stated in the comments section that indeed Mister O'Hurley purchased the house only in December of 2004. The records we accessed did show a 1990 purchase date, but this is not an exact science children. We apologize for the error, we do strive to be accurate, but sometimes mistakes are made. Thanks to those who assisted in bringing the error to our attention.

Sources: People

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