Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Kimora Lee Simmons Goes Country in Beverly Hills

BUYER: Kimora Lee Simmons
LOCATION: Lime Orchard Road, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $5,900,000 (list price)
SIZE: 5,923 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Captivating country home remodeled with great attention to detail. This wonderful family home is located in guard gated celebrity enclave. Gated and very private this tennis court estate offers a large living room w/ f/p, formal dining room, gourmet kitchen w/top of the line appliances, opens to breakfast area, family/media room, 7 bedrms, 8.5 baths, distressed hardwd floors, beautiful bathrooms, large swimming pool, guest apt., sumptuous master suite. True country living at its best!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We figgered queen of conspicuous consumption Kimora Lee Simmons was searching for a bachelorette pad. Back in mid-May Your Mama discussed the Bird Street villa she had on the market for $5,800,000, which disappeared from the multiple listing service almost immediately after being put up. Your Mama hears through the grapevine that she sold the place, but we don't have any confirmation of that quite yet.

Whatever the case, what is clear from property records is that the six foot tall Afro-Asian mo-dell who recently added reality television star to her resume has already purchased a new Beverly Hills home for her and the kids. The listing states that this property represents "country living at it's best!" But the last we knew, Beverly Hills was not the country, and Kimora Lee Simmons is anything but a country hunny. Your Mama imagines this glamorous single mommy has already had a team of nice gay decorators up in there stripping the place of all the down home details and turning the place into a jewel encrusted home worthy of a very rich dee-vorcée and business entrepreneur who has a penchant for all things shiny, extravagant, and expensive.

While the house is far more modest than her glitzy house of horrors in New Jersey, the 5,923 square foot Tudor style house does have an impressive 7 bedrooms and 8 or 9 terlits, depending on who you ask. In addition to all the customary living, dining, family and media rooms, there is also a white on white guest apartment that will be perfect for housing the nannies and assistants. Which is a very good thing, because y'all know this bitch lives large and it surely takes a small army of live in staff to to keep her life running like a smoothly oiled machine.

Fortunately, the master suite is large and includes a vast bedroom with a fireplace, a lovely bathroom, and a decent sized dressing room/closet where Kimora can stash at least some of her famous and extensive shoe collection. If we were the wagering type, we'd bet a wad of cold hard cash that Miz Simmons incorporates at least one of the 7 bedrooms into the master suite so that she can have proper closet space for her clothing, handbags, shoes and jewelry.

Located in an exclusive enclave of guard gated homes high in the Hills of Beverly, Miz Simmons will not have to deal with the paparazzi standing in her driveway shouting her name and popping their flash bulbs. Nor will she have to deal with stoopid looky-loos who get in their cars and drive by the homes of the rich and famous hoping to catch them taking out the trash or stepping out of one of their tricked out whips. She will, however, have some glittery and eye-popping neighbors to invite over for backyard bbqs including Jessica Simpson, Guy Oseary, and Hollywood honchos Tom Freston and Andrew Vajna.

Despite the choice location, a swanky and well connected real estate professional that Your Mama is friendly with told us that Miz Simmons' new house is "crappy." We can't verify that because we've never been to the house, but that might explain why it sat on the market for almost a year and needed to be reduced from $6,950,000 to $5,900,000 before it was snatched up by Miz Simmons. Our information indicates a full price purchase at $5,900,000, but that can not be verified with public records at this time and we'll leave that to Mister Big Time to suss out and post about at a later date.

As far as Your Mama knows the ex-couple still have their horrific New Jersey mansion on the market at more than $20,000,000. But honestly kids, we are too busy to look this morning. But if you ask Your Mama, and of course no one did, that big House of Tacky will be on the market for a long, long time.

Listen Kimora hunny, when you get settled, you be sure to let Your Mama know when would be a good time to come on over and quietly stare at your new lover Djimon Hounsou. He may not have the mounds money of your ex huzband Russell has, but you traded up in the body department, didn't you?

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