Thursday, July 24, 2008

Celebrity House Hunters

Let's start the day with some real estate rumor and gossip.

Good House Hunting...

It seems that Oscar winning ack-tor Ben Affleck and his oft nominated for an Emmy ack-tress wifey Jennifer Garner have the celebrity real estate gossips brows furrowed and tongues wagging just about every other week. First there was a humongous house in the Holmby Hills that all of the world (including Your Mama) thought they bought. They didn't.

Next, the house hunters were spotted touring a modest cottage in Venice and Your Mama heard from a well placed source in The Boo that the couple also peeked and poked around at a big and newly built house on Birdview Avenue that was listing in the twenty million smacker range.

Then it was back to the Holmby Hills where the possibly preggers pair have been spotted more than once looking over a freshly rehabbed John Bersci designed manse on S. Mapleton Drive that is currently listed at $27,500,000.

This week, the couple were out in their Audi A8 peeping and poking around a house in Brentwood that is currently under construction and about which Your Mama has no specific information.

So what gives children? Are these two really looking to buy a new crib to house a new crib or do they just like looking? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

P.S. We've long heard (but can not confirm) that the real estate luvin' couple is building a new nest for their (possibly) growing family in the Mandeville Canyon area of Brentwood, and Your Mama has also heard from a source we'll call Laughing Larry who says that the couple have twice looked at the Cecil B. DeMille estate in gated Laughlin Park (where we hear Ben's little bro Casey lives). Laughing Larry also whispered in Your Mama's big ear that one of the viewings occured in the evening and Ben's buddy Matt Damon and his wifey Luciana tagged along to see the historic 6 bedroom and 10 bathroom estate that is currently listed at $23,950,000 (reduced from $26,500,000). Hmm. Inneresting.

Heidi and Spencer Go Boo...

Also making (probably fake) celebrity real estate news is gossip glossy favorites Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag who have somehow managed to become wildly and upsettingly famous simply by calling the paps whenever they grocery shop, grab coffee or go shopping.

Oh look, there's Miss Montag now with her weave all did up teetering on a pair of sky high alligator sling-backs and toting a big white Birkin bag posing for all she's worth on the balcony of an ocean front house in Malee-boo. And oh looky there, now she's kissing on her man Spencer who among other offenses looks like he's got a damn pubic bush on his face. Seriously dude, shave that kitty-cat off.

Anyhoo, online reports say the gun toting Christians were spotted having a look-see at a $90,000 per month rental on the beach in Malee-boo before heading up into the hills to view a property listed for (around) $12,000,000. Ack! Your Mama would bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that the desperate for any and all attention couple arranged for the paps to follow them out the Pacific Coast Highway and bee-lined from the front door right out the back door so the snap happy paps could nab a thousand photos of the lovebirds getting smoochy on the deck. Uhm. Okay. Whatever.

Listen children, we know these two make boo-coo bucks working their breathtaking lack of skills and talents around Hollywood and Las Vegas, but does anyone really think these two have the ka-ching to purchase a $12,000,000 house in Malee-boo? Pleeze.

Listen to Your Mama Miss Montag and Mister Pratt, the two of you best stay put in your crappy condo in West Hollywood because when fame and fortune dries up for you two–and it most certainly will–we'd just hay-ate to see y'all face an uglee foreclosure proceeding due to a mammoth mortgage that you can no longer afford.

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