Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Graeme Revell Doubles Down in Malibu

SELLER: Graeme Revell
LOCATION: Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $27,500,000
SIZE: 3,477 square feet (as per assessor), 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Unique beach and bluff estate. 1-story Fred Lloyd Wright Foundation. Appx. 5 acres rolling lawns, tree lined driveway to motor court. Pool, spa, tennis court. Private direct beach access. Expand, remodel or build your custom estate. Expired plans available.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama has heard from a number of helpful tipsters over the last week or 10 days–including one from the always informative Missy Malee-boo–who have all pointed their real estate luvin' fingers at a long, low and blue tile roofed residence stretched out on the dee-voonly dramatic bluffs of Malee-boo that recently hit the market with a spine tingling asking price of $27,500,000.

A little look-see through public records reveals that the property belongs to super successful film and television composer Graeme Revell, the gentleman responsible for the soundtracks of such high-minded cinematic wonders as Man of the Year, Goal, Tank Girl and the upcoming Seth Rogan pot-fest Pineapple Express.

Records indicate that Mister Revell and his artist wifey Brenda purchased their 5 acre estate in May of 2004 for $12,000,000. Based on that purchase price, our trusted and bejeweled abacus tells us the cashing in couple are hoping to more than double their Malee-boo money in just four or five years time. Your Mama don't know nuthin' from nuthin' about real estate children, but we do know that asking for that kind of monstrous increase in value takes some serious real estate cajones even in a place like Malee-boo where real estate prices and "values" adhere to their own set of arcane and entirely subjective rules.

A little research on the interweb and Your Mama learned that the "L" shaped domicile was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright's son-in-law William Wesley Peters. For those who do not know or are too lazy to Blackle Mister Peters, Your Mama will inform the children that the architect was a protégé of master architect Frank Lloyd Wright and was, in fact, married to Mister Wright's adopted daughter Svetlana, a gal who should ab-so-lute-lee not be confused with Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's house gurl Svetlana. Mister Wright's daughter Svetlana perished in an automobile accident in 1946 and Mister Peters went on to marry the only daughter of Communist party head honcho Joseph Stalin, who coincidentally was also named Svetlana and, again, should not be confused with Your Mama's stern, bossy and beloved house gurl Svetlana.

Records filed with the county indicate the house measures in at a surprisingly small sounding 3,477 square feet and listing information shows the house includes 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms. From the looks of things, Your Mama would have imagined the house was much larger. Anyhoo, the five acre parcel, which happens to sit just a few doors up the Pacific Coast Highway from gossip glossy favorites Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's ocean front spread, includes a long curving tree-lined driveway, acres of rolling lawns, a north south tennis court and a fantastically pill shaped swimming pool. By far the most interesting feature of the property is accessed down a long and winding path to the beach which terminates in a private ocean front plateau that has been planted with a circular lawn area perfect for meditating, sunbathing in the nood and landing helicopters.

Given the architectural provenance of this house, Your Mama would bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that being inside this house is much better than looking at the outside which, forgive our snarky soul, looks like an International House of damn Pancakes. Now children, while out on the open road in our big BMW, Your Mama does not mind the occasional Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity breakfast at an IHOP, but we are not inclined to want to come home to a twenty something million dollar house that looks like it might smell of chicken strips and cooking grease.

The interior spaces are certainly dramatic with soaring ceilings and intricately articulated floor to ceiling windows with an insane geometric angulation that makes Your Mama a little dizzy with dee-light. However, Your Mama does not have much nice to say about the interior day-core which unfortunately leans towards tiger striped throws, beige sofas and inexpensive looking and randomly placed shoji screens. Ack!

Records show that Mister Revell and his artist wifey Brenda also own a modest house in Woodland Hills for which they forked over $1,000,000 in August of 2006, a modest ranch house in Porter Ranch which they bought in June of 2004 for $863,000 and third modestly sized house in Venice they scooped up in June of 2004 for $850,000. The property rich pair also own a couple of apartment buildings in North Hollywood, both of which were purchased towards the end of 2007. Phew! So in addition to scoring films Your Mama has never heard of nor seen, Mister Revell and his ladee-wife also have a proper penchant for real estate investing.

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