Saturday, July 5, 2008

Diana Ross Is Doing it in Manhattan

SELLER: Diana Ross
LOCATION: 781 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY
PRICE: $9,000,000 (and going up to $11,000,000)
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (plus staff room with bath)
DESCRIPTION: This apartment is one of only a few tower units, each with comprises a full floor. Tower suites offer grand scaled room – the living room is almost 29 feet long – stellar views in all four directions overlooking Grand Army Plaza and Central Park, 3 bedrooms, a formal dining room, large entrance foyer, kitchen and maid's room, plus 3 full bathrooms.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Divalicious music icon Diana Ross has long had Quarry Farm–her 9-acre Greenwich, CT estate–on the market with an eye popping asking price of $39,500,000. Turns out the Supremes queen is also looking to unload her Manhattan pied a terre located high in the tower of the super swish Sherry Netherland Hotel. For all those children not lucky enough to be familiar with the extravagance and elegance that is The Sherry, the dee-luxe and dignified building towers over the corner of 59th Street and Fifth Avenue and includes a mix of high priced hotel suites as well as a limited number of co-operative apartments which 0ffer residents the full services of the 5-star hotel...for a ferocious monthly fee, natch.

Currently listed at $9,000,000, Braden Keil at the NY Post reported this week that the sixty something, humongous haired, drunk driving and breast fondling Motown legend is planning to renovate her 7-room full floor residence and jack the asking price to $11,000,000.

Listen chickens, eleven million smackers is a lot of money by any residential real estate standards, particularly for an apartment without a single square foot of outdoor space. But to be quite honest, even with the $16,999 monthly maintenance it seems like a reasonable (by Fifth Avenue standard) price for a full floor apartment at the tippy top of the insanely posh Sherry Netherland Hotel that includes acrophobia inducing 360 degree views including over the lush green carpet of Central Park. Listing information and a quick perusal of the dee-lishus floor plan reveals that the apartment includes a private elevator landing, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a 29 foot long living room, formal dining room, and an itty bitty staff room with private bathroom tucked back behind the postage stamp sized kitchen.

But the size of the kitchen is really of no matter to the lucky and rich residents of The Sherry: No one uses them for much more than making late night tea and stashing a few tins of Beluga and a couple of extra battles of Perrier-Jouet. That's not only because the super rich rarely cook their own meals but also because all the co-op apartments at The Sherry include full hotel service that includes room service by Cipriani as well as twice daily maid service, once a month general cleaning, a barbershop, beauty salon, and a full gym where all the resident industrialists and high society babes on the social circuit can sweat out the champagne.

Listing information for Miss Ross's residence does not include any photographs of the interior but Your Mama likes to imagine that every room has been done up and did over in a dramatic but very tasteful style with a giant pop art portrait of Herself hanging in the living room. The thoughtful floor plan has the public rooms occupying one side of the unit and the private bedroom spaces the other. Your Mama could not be more pleased to see that each of the bedrooms includes a perfectly private pooper because even though the owner of this apartment is the Diana Ross and she deserves every accolade ever pitched at her, the ladee's shit surely stinks just like everybody else's.

In addition to her estate in Greenwich and her urban hideaway in Manhattan, Your Mama understands tht Miss Ross also has a house in one of the better zip codes in Los Angeles. But to be honest children, Your Mama can't figure out where it is. Perhaps Mister Big Time can give us a helping hand with that?

Other current and past residents of The Sherry are rumored and reported to include candle king Harry Slatkin, tech titan turned art collector and philanthropist Max Palevsky, investment banker Roberto de Guardiola and his interior designer wifey Joanne who reportedly own five units, big bad Babs (Streisand), George Burns, Jack Warner and Francis Ford Coppola as well as any number of other big bizness tycoons, industrialists and financiers who are so ridiculously rich and discreet that most of the children have never even heard of them.

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