Friday, July 25, 2008

Jennifer Grant Selling in Santa Monica

SELLER: Jennifer Grant
LOCATION: Fraser Avenue, Santa Monica, CA
PRICE: $2,195,000
SIZE: 1,564 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Craftsman beach home architecturally designed and remodeled on the best Ocean Park walk street – 1 block from the sand. Incredible attention to detail. Light and open with a N.Y. style 2nd story loft. 25' vaulted ceilings with exposed beams, skylights in almost every room, hardwood floors and sisal carpets. Gourmet cooks kitchen. Large master suite with all new bath and walk-in closet leading to a private deck. Great office and 2nd bedrm and bath.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Recently we were perusing the listings in Santa Monica and came across this itty bitty beach cottage in Santa Monica sitting pretty on the market for $2,195,000. Because Your Mama is nothing if not a Nosy Nelly, we peeked into the property records and much to our deelishus dee-lite discovered it's currently owned by Hollywood scion Jennifer Grant.

Your Mama realizes that many of the children will not immediately recognize the name Jennifer Grant as a "celebrity." It might be because Miss Grant is only a minor celeb at best and it might also be because she's not the sort of gal who is out flashing her naughty bits all over town for the paps to photograph nor is she cutting deals with the gossip glossies for "candid" photos like some of the other stoopidly famous folks are oft-rumored to do. Besides, Miss Grant does not need to try nearly as hard as a questionably talented celebutards like that disturbing Heidi Montag. Why? Because this gurl's got Hollywood royalty running in her veins. That's right children. Miss Grant happens to be the only daughter of screen legend Cary Grant and his Oscar nominated fourth wife, kooky and curly haired Lakers fanatic Dyan Cannon.

After stints in a law firm and as a chef, the Stanford graduate–Your Mama lurvs us an edju-muh-kated ack-tress–decided to get into the family bizness in 1993 when she landed a recurring role as Steve Sanders' gurlyfriend Celeste Lundy on the beloved boob-toob juggernaut that was Beverly Hills 90210, a program currently in the process of being reprised. Pleeze. Does anyone really care what Brenda Walsh is up to nowadays? Your Mama might care if the show placed some big advertising on our little online endeavor, but otherwise we don't give a shit. Sorry puppies, but we don't.

Anyhoo, back in May of 1997, several years after Miss Grant strutted her toothy stuff on 90210, prop records reveal that the not particularly successful ack-tress scooped up a cute little cottage on Santa Monica's Fraser Avenue for $625,000. Remember those salad days of real estate children when a diminutive domicile just a few steps from the sugary sands of the Pacific Ocean could be picked up for well under a million dollars? Oh yes, Your Mama does too...wistfully.

Listing information shows the long and slender bungalow includes two bedrooms and two bathrooms while property records indicate the house measures 1,564 square feet and contains five bedrooms. We're not sure why the discrepancy in the number of sleeping chambers but if Your Mama had to guess–and we're only guessing children–three of the original five bedrooms were prolly removed in the full tilt renovation which transformed much of the interior space into a soaring loft with a beautifully articulated 25' ceiling and a well considered ridge-line skylight that pulls lights down into the ecclesiastical second floor loft and main floor living spaces.

Ordinarily Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter do not care for loft style living–we prefer defined spaces with doors that close thank you very much. However, we're going to make an exception for Miss Grant's beach cottage. The skinny residences that line the narrow Santa Monica streets and lead down to the beach are slammed up next to each other making it nearly impossible to harness light and create privacy with windows on the sides of the house. The architect responsible for this renovation has successfully solved that particular problem with the aforementioned ridge-line skylight, an inspired notion that allowed the original roof line to be preserved but also injected a striking modernity into the modified Victorian style structure. We can understand that some preservationist minded folks will not appreciate the modern infusion, but try to imagine how dark this house would feel if it retained its original layout, which was most likely a warren of small rooms with side facing windows.

As for Miss Grant's day-core? Well children, we do feel it could use the deft hand of a nice gay decorator to pull it all together, we think the kitchen could use another re-do and we're somewhat concerned about the potential difficulty of climbing in and getting out of that shower tub combination in the master bedroom. However, we genuinely appreciate the hodge podge nature of the place that genuinely reflects the its current owner. And the books...did the children notice there are actual books in this house? Any house with books that look like they actually get opened and read gets bonus points in Your Mama's book.

Your Mama is certain that many of the children will say this would make perfect for a pied a terre at the beach but really isn't large enough for full time living. Wanna know what we say to that? Bullshit! All this drama that people go through about needing 3,000+ square feet in order to feel comfortable and cosseted is nothing but a bunch of whining and complaining. Seriously. People want to have mammoth mansions and sprawling estates, that's just fine. But Your Mama does not want to hear anybody moan about how they need a big house surrounded by an ocean of perfectly manicured lawn. Rubbish!

As far as Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are concerned, this is the perfect amount of interior space for comfortable living. Yes, we would absolutely prefer more outdoor space where our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly could sun their sausage shapes and we'd be perpetually annoyed about having to carry food for the barbecue through the master bedroom. However, we'd make due if it meant being able to stroll down to the sand in less than 2 minutes.

Your Mama hasn't a clue to where Miss Grant will be decamping with her Buddha things and books, but based Your Mama wishes her all the best.

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