Monday, July 21, 2008

Elle Macpherson's Mansion

SELLER: Elle Macpherson
LOCATION: Ladbroke Gardens, London, UK
PRICE: £7,500,000 (reduced from £9,500,000)
SIZE: 5,469 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 5 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Family house that has been designed to the highest specification set in idyllic communal gardens setting.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama recently heard from our world traveling tipster with a distinguished Greek surname who swears on his souvlaki that the house pictured above belongs to the six foot tall super model and lingerie entrepreneur Elle Macpherson.

So, since we've been inundated with uglee-ass houses lately, Your Mama has been desperate to look at some pretty pictures of a refined residence that does not make us want to poke out our eyes with last night's dirty chop sticks, and this house fits the bill.

Regarding Miz Macpherson, this is what Your Mama has gleaned from our early morning research on the internets: Shortly after Miz Macpherson split from her filthy rich Swiss born biznessman beau and baby daddy Arpad Busson in 2005, she and the former couple's two kiddies moved to a seven story house in Ladbroke Gardens that she did up and did over with all sorts of custom cabinetry and bespoke furniture.

(Mister Busson has moved on to engage himself to another high profile and tall blond babe, this time American actress and recent dee-vorcee Uma Thurman while 40-something year old Miz Macpherson has been rumored and reported to be dating all sorts of gentleman friends such as rock star Bryan Adams and 21 year old Vito Schnabel, young son of the artist Julian Schnabel.)

Anyhoo, there have been many and multiple reports about Miz Macpherson growing tired of living in London and wanting to decamp to her native Australia. However, there have also been reports of the swimsuit model turned bra and panty mogul shopping for new homes in the English countryside. So who knows?

The house in question, located in the Ladbroke Gardens section of hoity toity Notting Hill, has been listed at £9,500,000 which Your Mama's bejeweled abacus reveals converts to $18,933,540 at today's rates. Listing information for the 5,469 square foot property shows there are seven floors of living space with six bedrooms and five full and two half bathrooms. Although Your Mama worries about the practicality and extreme difficulty of living in a seven floor house without an elevator, we don't imagine this would be much of a problem for a woman like Miz Macpherson, who at 40 some years old still has rock hard glutes and legs of steel that make stair climbing easy.

Generally speaking Your Mama is loving this Notting Hill house and floor plan. In fact, besides the lack of a lift, we only find one glaring issue that causes us consternation and puzzlement: There is no easily accessible terlit for guests who are forced to descend two flights from the first floor drawing room to the "Lower Ground Floor" or hike up two floors to the third floor hall bath. Not good. There isn't an obvious place to squeeze a powder room on the ground or first floor, but Your Mama imagines a really good architect could work the floor plan to add a more convenient wee-wee room for guests.

We're appreciating the eclectic design of the main drawing room on the first floor which looks like a room where one could entertain swells and fashioneestas on Friday night and then kick up the bare feet and read the gossip glossies on Sunday morning. In addition to the drawing room there are several other smaller sitting and receptions rooms for more intimate moments.

Londoner's know how to do a kitchen with all the latest and greatest gadgets and gizmos and this kitchen does not disappoint. Yes, it is a little cold feeling, but try to imagine how it looks when Momma Macpherson is padding around in fuzzy slippers and whipping up rice pudding for the kiddies. A few signs of life and cooking in here would go along way to taking it from looking like a sterile surgical suite and into a sleek but cozy kitchen where friends and family hang out to watch the chef slice and dice.

Although on the floor plan the dining room on the lower ground floor looks terribly cramped, we note in the photos that Miz Macpherson's nice gay decorator has managed to fit a table for ten comfortably into the space by utilizing a clever built-in banquette. Bravo! The children will also note that the brazilliant designer also managed to save space in the too narrow room by removing the fireplace mantel and surrounding the enlarged firebox with what appears to be some sort of mirrored tile all of which makes the room appear larger than it really is.

The master bedroom, which generously occupies an entire floor, has been fitted and kitted with all manner of custom cabinetry that should satisfy any international clotheshorse. In addition to the all the drawers and cabinets, a dressing room has been installed, a feature that makes Your Mama swoon with envy, and the master bath includes a double vanities and a bidet as well as a terlit.

It's lovely to see that even the room dedicated to the children has been thoughtfully designed with custom drawers for storing all the toys and games that typically clutter up the family rooms of folks with children. This room is a testament to the notion that just because one lives with children the Barbies and X-Boxes do not have to be the dominant decorating feature in a family room.

The small garden isn't as user friendly as we might prefer, but according to the listing, the property includes access to communal gardens where we imagine there is much more room for the kiddies to stretch their legs.

Enjoy the photos and floor plan. We think it's dee-voon and dee-lightful. Now then, Your Mama is off to the Time Warner Center for an interview and then we're catching up with our wonderfully ascerbic pal Soozie for a look-see at the quartet of monumental Olafur Eliasson waterfalls that have been erected along the East River in New York City.

(P.S. All hail the Grammar Po-leese!)

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