Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Justin Long Buys Manhattan Bachelor Pad

BUYER: Justin Long
LOCATION: Norfolk Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $2,425,000
SIZE: 1,975 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Tower 15 boasts stunning views south, east, west and north thru floor to ceiling windows. This condominium residence was created by one of the world's most innovative architects, Bernard Tschumi. A limited edition home with designer finishes, beautiful kitchen and baths, amazing light, and wonderful city, river, and bridge views. The attended lobby and sun-filled roof terrace complete the package.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It was only a couple of months ago that Hollywood power player and notorious serial dater Drew Barrymore and her boy beau Justin Long were constantly cooing and publicly pawing at each other anytime someone turned eyes or a camera their direction. But no more children. One of little Miss Barrymore's people has recently confirmed the tabloid regulars have gone splitsville and according to recent reports it appears that the geeky looking actor and Apple Computer spokesman will be retreating to a newly purchased condominium on the Lower East Side of Manhattan to lick his romantic wounds.

Located in the newly built and much bally-hooed building on Norfolk Street called Blue, Mister Long's starchitect designed digs has 4-direction views and spreads across an entire floor with 1,975 square feet. Prop records do not yet show how much Mac money Mister Long spent on his new nest, but according to the listing, the "L" shaped two bedroom and two bathroom unit was last listed at $2,425,000.

Generally speaking, Your Mama appreciates the layout of Mister Long's new apartment. We love the private elevator landing but we don't love that the entrance hall drops guests right into the cramped dining area that is really little more than a glorified hallway. However, once we hang a right into the living room with its three walls of floor to ceiling glass that jut out into downtown sky, all the diminutive dining room drama is forgiven.

Although it would be nice to preserve the eastern sight lines from the living room, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would quickly call a contractor to continue the short wall of the guest bathroom another few feet to the south thereby partially enclosing the area that is identified on the floor plan as the "study." The long sweep of the hardwood floors and all that open space is lovely, but a little creative closing off would allow for a large built in desk on the north wall where we could work our fingers to the nubbins on our laptop and also provide a discreet and hidden area to stack the bills so we would not have to bear the indignity and stress of having to confront them every time we walked from the living room to the kitchen.

Closet space is adequate–partick in the master where in addition to a small closet near the bathroom is a giant dressing room/closet surrounded by windows which would give neighbors a good shot of Mister Long's nekkid booty if there were any other tall buildings around...which there are not. We feel the kitchen does not offer the best work flow, but it's certainly tolerable and we're very digging that a counter has been included on the dining room side from which Sunday morning buffet brunches can be served and where guests can sit and get slowly pie-eyed while chatting up the meal preparing host. We certainly would have preferred to see a powder room squeezed into the plan so that over night guests would be provided with a private pooper in which to do their durty bizness, but we can live with just the two especially since the door to the second bathroom, thankfully, does not open directly into a public space.

Your Mama's most may-jer concern about this unit is that besides the wide white walls in the bedrooms where does one hang the art? It could be a bit of a deal breaker for anyone with more than a few high priced paintings and photographs.

Designed by maverick modern architect Bernard Tschumi, there has been much hype and hoo-ha about the Blue building which was completed last year. Having been a long time resident of the Lower East Side back when it was still THE Lower East Side and not the haven for hipsters with high paying jobs that it's become, it's still a wee bit odd and discombobulating for Your Mama to see all these dee-luxe, hyper-designed and very expensive condo-buildings sprouting up amid the trashy tenements that line the narrow streets of Loisada. As such we're deeply concerned that the building has no visual references or real relationship to the neighborhood. This is not a building that rises from the character of the neighborhood but rather in spite of it which, of course, makes the big blue clean lined tower stick out like a sore thumb in a neighborhood of crumbling 4-6 story tenements.

That said, we do applaud the architectural efforts of Mister Tschumi who had the verve, vision and aesthetic fortitude to cantilever the southern elevation and clad the geometrically angled residential tower in multiple shades of blue glass which effectively (if a little obviously) mirrors the modern digital world in which we live. Besides, with all the aggressively ordinary Kostas Kondylis apartment towers thrown up left and right along the Manhattan avenues over the last 10 years, Mister Tschumi's Blue is a stunning and much needed breath of fresh air even if it is a bit brash and a lot out of place.

Now that Mister Long's lips are no longer occupied with Miss Barrymore, Your Mama hopes he gets them flapping on the phone to hire a nice gay decorator to help his sort out the day-core of his new bachelor pad. Your Mama just has one suggestion...okay two: No black leather sofas and we beg that he does not put a pool table where the dining room table belongs. Do you hear Your Mama, Mister Long? Do. Not. Do. It.

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