Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Ellen Does it Three Times On Cabrillo Drive

While visiting the left coast last week, a good lookin' and well built acquaintance of Your Mama's whispered in our big ol' ear that he heard through the gurl gossip grapevine that talk show titan Ellen Degeneres and gal pal Portia Di Rossi had scooped up a third property on Cabrillo Drive (shown above).

And you know what children? Our little talkative tipster was correct. A peek into the property records reveals that the lesbian lovebirds–who are bizzy as beavers planning their upcoming big gay wedding–did indeed recently close on the last piece of the Cabrillo Drive real estate puzzle that will allow the Sapphic sisters to request permission from the city of Bev Hills to gate the entire damn street and provide them with the perfectly private lesbian lair they've long craved.

Let's recap: First the couple forked over a mind numbing and jaw dropping 29 and some million clams in a private deal for Will and Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick's recently built house that measures 8,500+ square feet and includes a detached guest house and staff quarters located under the infinity edge swimming pool. Yes children, under. Miz Moneybags quickly whirled around and spent another $8,500,000 to buy the 4,580 square foot house across the tiny street that was owned by celebrity real estate agent Jade Mills which Miz D and Missus dR tore down tout de suite.

Miz Degeneres then set her real estate sights on the third and final house on Cabrillo Drive and because money talks she was able to convince the long time owners to sell. Records to not indicate what Miz Degeneres paid for the third property that sits below the two other properties on a hair pin turn, but what is clear is that she has spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $40,000,000 for her Bev Hills compound, a massive and perhaps even masochistic amount of money for these three properties.

Your Mama can't help but wonder if the gurls plan on using the 2,785 square foot house with 1 bedroom and 3 bathrooms as another guest house, staff accommodations, converting it into a security center/gate house or if they'll tear the bitch down and cantilever a tennis court out over the canyon. With this peripatetic pair, one never knows what pricey and privacy making plans they have up their real estate sleeves.

Whatever the case Your Mama asks, pleads and begs that none of you moe-rons get the not very wise idea to motor your automobiles up Cabrillo Drive. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Not only would that be stoopid, but you're likely to get a wicked and well deserved ass pounding by one of Miz D and Missus dR's beefy security goons.

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