Tuesday, March 4, 2008

So, What Did Joan Collins Buy?

BUYER: Joan Collins
LOCATION: 9255 Doheny Road, West Hollywood, CA
PRICE: $2,700,000
SIZE: 2,117 square feet, 1 bedroom, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: You'll find this unit high above the Sunset Strip in the renowned Sierra Towers with breathtaking views of the hills, ocean and points west. This full amenity building is located at one of the areas most prestigious addresses. Ready to move into so bring your clients.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Ages ago, Your Mama received a tip from a friendly boa constrictor who hissed in our big ear that the wonderfully well preserved television diva Joan Collins purchased a condominium high up in the celebrity friendly Sierra Towers on Doheny Road in West Hollywood. At the time, we were not able to confirm the purchase and, unfortunately, our mind being mush most of the time, we just plum forgot to keep looking.

Then last weekend, the venerable Miz Ruth Ryon at the LA Times reported that the still trying to be slinky and sexy 7o-something Miz Collins and her much younger fifth husband Percy Gibson purchased a 2,700 square foot unit on the 27th floor with northwestern views for $2,700,000. Well all those 27s looked and sounded awfully sweet strung together like triplets wearing matching outfits, but there was something fishy about some of the details reported.

See children, the only unit on the 27th floor of Sierra Towers that would qualify as having northwestern views is the very same unit that rehabbed starlet Lindsay Lohan sold in March of 2007 for around $2,500,000. Remember that? It just seemed strange and not quite right to Your Mama that the non-celebrity buyer of Miss Lohan's unit (which she never even occupied) would fork over $2,500,000 for a place that was in dire need of a significant renovation only to turn around and sell it just a year later for $2,700,000 which would leave no profit after taxes and real estate fees.

So Your Mama went digging and we got on the horn to our spider web of sources and contacts. Before Our Fairy Godmother in Bel Air got back to us with the scoop (and the property listing), Mister Big Time had written up his own report/Ruth Ryon smack down. As Mister Big Time reported, the condo that Miz Collins and her boy toy purchased is indeed a 2,117 square foot unit on the 25th floor. According to property records, the insanely May/December couple purchased the place for $2,700,000.

Miz Ryon reported the condo had two bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and Mister Big Time reported that property records indicate three bedrooms. However, according to the listing, the condo has been reconfigured and now sports just 1 bedroom and 3 bathrooms. Which means that the high-lariously bawdy Miz Collins, her huzband, and their dinner guests will never have to do the dirty bizness on the same terlit.

The unit, which was formerly owned by the dee-lishusly tawdry Tawny Kitaen, was listed at $2,950,000 and includes parking for two vehicles. Now kids, what sort of car do you suppose Miz Collins drives? Or does the ladee get driven at all times?

Normally Your Mama does not get into the financing and mortgages of the properties we discuss, but we found it interesting that the lender for Grandma Collins and her walker/huzband was an entity called Marmara Shipping, Ltd. Hmm. Is that some Greek shipping magnate pal who fronted her the money so she wouldn't have to pay bank fees? Or is this just the normal financial ways of an international and jet-setting social fixture like Miz Joan Collins?

The quasi-high rise residential building boasts 24-hour security and staff including valets to porters, deeded and secure parking, a city view and heated swimming pool on the sixth floor with his and hers locker rooms and spas, and a ballroom and caterers kitchen is available (presumably for rent).

In addition to the Queen of the Cougars, other screamingly famous residents of Sierra Towers include divalicious pop icon Cher, Sir Elton John and his huzband David Furnish, nutty diet guru Nikki Haskell, the dee-voon Diahann Carroll, and of course, Russ Filice, the real estate agent to anyone who is anyone in Sierra Towers.

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