Tuesday, March 11, 2008

UPDATE: Michael Jackson

Thanks to the the always helpful B.S. Beaverman, Your Mama recently received a link over to a salacious and high-larious story about the never ending saga of Neverland Ranch in the The Sun, one of the UKs most lurid and lascivious tabloid rags owned by media mogul Rupert Murdoch. The article suspiciously reports that two twenty something "tycoons" are making a last ditch effort to buy broken down music icon Michael Jackson's broken down Neverland Ranch.

The young and supposedly rich whipper snappers claim to be huge fans of The White Lady and are reportedly willing to fork over up to £15,000,000 to purchase Neverland Ranch and then...are the children ready for this nonsense...lease the place back to Mister Jackson. Whaaat? Do the people at The Sun really think anyone is going to believe that? What legitimate tycoon would make the damn fool maneuver to buy Neverland Ranch and lease it back to the very same financially strapped and fading pop star who does not have the money to pay his bills as it is? Please.

As laughable as The Sun article may be, it does include some stunning and seriously sad photos of Jackson's once beloved and now abandoned Neverland Ranch in a startling state of disrepair with a tattered tent, a crumpled tee-pee village and a tennis house that looks like it might fall over in a stiff wind. One note to the children...the article identifies the Disneyland like brick structure as The White Lady's residence, but trust Your Mama when we tell you it is not...it's the train station. How do we know this? Because Your Mama's cuzzin used to drive the damn train at Neverland Ranch.

Unless The White Lady can convince some financial fool to refinance the approximately $24,000,000 mortgage that is in default on the 2,600 acre ranch in the Santa Ynez Valley, Neverland Ranch is scheduled to be auctioned off on the steps of the Santa Barbara county court house on March 19. Your Mama recommends those people in Santa Barbara get the security barriers in place, because you know that is going to be some kinda mess with developers shouting over the screams and cries of the twelve or fifteen people who still consider themselves die-hard fans of Michael Jackson.

Poor Michael Jackson. Why the man does not just sell Neverland Ranch like a sensible person and be done with the whole fracas is beyond our comprehension. He must be a real glutton for punishment. We've been saying it for months kids, but this whole Neverland Ranch bizness can only end in tears.

Photos: Splash (via The Sun)

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